Eye sight is important for us photographers. Last Wednesday i felt something was awry with my right eye. By early afternoon I put my finger on it – the vision was slowly disappearing from the top left of my right eye and working its way across my field of view. Within an hour of realising what was going on I was at my optometrist who offered me a taxi to the Wellington A&E. By Thursday morning the surgeon had put me at the top of his list and operated on my eye to reattach my retina. To say the last week has been anything but stressful would be a lie. Underneath it though I have such a huge sense of relief that we live in a place where we can be “fixed” when we “break”. Our eyesight is so important and mine was taken VERY seriously. Now I have no vitreous humour in the eye and seeing is different. I spend the nights exploring new universes as the light refracts through my gas filled eye that is gradually filling with fluid again. During the days my brain battles as it tries to make sense of the information coming from each eye – they cannot be put together to make sense yet. I sleep for hours!
My image today is an attempt at showing you what I see from my right eye – not much. I cannot say it is not beautiful and that I don’t disappear off into my own private world of visual fantasy as I tilt my head one way and another before the fear returns. The camera cannot see what I see and what i see is not functional. On one level I want it all to come back to normal, on another I want to enjoy the journey. I fear that function will not return and reflect on the words I shared with my father when he went blind “the rules of the game have changed Dad, you have to play a new game”. Like him, I do not want to play any new games but am preparing myself for the possibility that I might have to.