For so long I would not trust a life that let babies die, that poisoned the hearts of men so that they could hurt and kill, forests burn, families separate, while I remained self-righteous in my skepticism and condemnation, all my hoity excuses to remain a safe and hollow non-believer orphaned by my own cynicism and doubt.
I still do not know why babies need to die. I do know, however, that I want to ride the agonizing edge of faith. To truly believe that life will support and sustain me. That Existence longs for me to thrive. To relinquish the need for life to follow my rules. To welcome the drama, the complexity, the foolishness, the contradiction, the paradox, the conflict, the futility, the illogical, the absurd, the senseless and the disgrace.
To rest my cheek on the quiet curve of surrender. Condede to the mystery. Let go and let be. Live the unknown and unknowable. To rest at last – faithful and belonging.