Images stay with us. If I hadn’t made this one, it would still be one of the foremost in my mind’s eye. And still I made it. It was important to me to look upon the physical manifestation of the print and take in what was offered as a self portrait.
That was eight years ago; it popped up again recently to give me it’s two cents worth again. Apart from using the shower to apply soap where necessary, I use it as a place to let my mind wander, and to be cleansed, spiritually and emotionally as much as physically. Much resolution is gained at the expense of a large portion of the hot water cylinder. And that’s ok by me. Money well spent. Mark may not have the same opinion.
This handprint is not a random thing. For some reason I stamp it in the shower when I’m mulling over stuff, and it’s only seeing the print there that alerts me to the fact there’s been some heavy work going on in the subconscious. Making an image in a dimly lit, hot and steamy shower is not easy. This was a deliberate exercise given my desire to make an authentic photograph. Ideal conditions for making a picture – not! It wouldn’t have fitted my personal aesthetic to wait until the shower was cool and spray some water around.
And so come the reminders.
How necessary that space to let the mind wander is; how important that cleansing; the movement of, sound of and feel of, water flowing. Taking the bad stuff and recycling.
That stamp of ourselves that we create as we meet with the world and how heavy or light our touch.
And the most important? That sense of self – not of self importance, but self awareness – a sense that is informed and clear and honest and true. That which allows us to follow our own true path with strength and grace, and allows us to be authentic, not blown and buffeted by other’s needs or ideals of who we should be.
Our own true selves.