Apr 052014
 
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I am seizing the opportunity after becoming rather unexpectedly redundant to explore a long constrained desire to paint. The thing is, where do you start and what do you paint? Here is my story of the journey to my beginning.
In 1988 at 18 years old I headed to Otago University; plan was to become a lawyer. I would be the first person in my family to have a degree, there was a little pressure and yearning that I would make good. There were two major flaws to this plan, the first being the dream did not belong to me and, secondly, the dream I had was being suppressed with thoughts from those I had put on pedestals – “you will never make any money, you will be broke all your life and you’ll have to die to sell anything”.
I lasted a year at university, I left on a whirlwind romance to take a year off to consider things – truth be told I was escaping! I had to travel all the way to Sydney to do this. Those on pedestals again said “you are a drop out, wasting time, you need a piece of paper to become something – someone”.
I relied on the accounting and economic papers I gained in Form 7 to gain employment and through the years I worked my way up to becoming a Business Manager. I was efficient in managing many of the administrative departments where there is only room for square pegs in square holes. I was a solo Mum with two beautiful boys and I needed a 9-5 job that paid good money. Still there was a lesson from my first year at Otago: I was not willing to bat for myself or knock off the voices on my shoulders whispering “failure, you need a piece of paper…” Still I was not listening!
Sadly it took a failed marriage, internet dating, emotional eating, the death of my father, counselling, with the realisation that parents are really just humans (no pedestals necessary), meeting my soul mate and, if all that was not enough, redundancy; to begin.
So, what to paint?
Well… for now I realise I have 25 years of undeveloped passion and creativity stored up inside and it is time to release it. My paintings are emotive and a feeling I have at the time or of a time past. I love colour and have the ability to see something in everything!
My hope is that you can see a feeling in them for yourself and maybe learn a little faster than I did to be true to your inner self and take the time to stop and listen.
Here I am 25 years later beginning my journey to become an artist. Share this with me.
Louise
December 2013
coppelia29@gmail.com

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  2 Responses to “Contemplating Why, Retreating, Blended Families, Coffee – Louise Doolan”

  1. Welcome! I know this has been a big shift in your life, and the challenges continue, but it’s wonderful to see you putting your soul out there!

    We’ll all enjoy the journey through your work. Arohanui

  2. Welcome Louise, thank you for sharing the background to your paintings. I have found that there are many people in a similar boat to you, all wanting to find an outlet for the artistic / creative spirit that they know is inside them. In a fairy tale world we get our cake and eat it too but the balance is so much harder. No one else will make those paintings but you, they will be for you first and foremost and in that respect are so very important. Value the joy this can bring and learn how to find the wisdom in how and why you bring yourself to the creative moment. I’m glad to see you take up our guest spot for the week – it reminds us all of our artistic yearnings.

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